If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.
--John 7:37-- * Fermentation and civilization are inseperable
--John Ciardi-- * You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline -it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
--Frank Zappa-- * Fill with mingles cream and amber,
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious visions clamber
through the chambers of my brain.
Quaintest thoughts, queerest fancies,
Come to life and fade away:
What care I how time advances?
I am drinking ale today.
--Edgar Allan Poe-- * A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
--Edward Abbey-- * Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
--Ernest Hemmingway-- * In my opinion, most of the great men of the past were only there for the beer.
--A.J.P. Taylor (British historian)-- * This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord has intended a more divine form of consumption. Let us give praise to our maker and glory to His bounty be learning about beer.
--Friar Tuck-- * Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
--Winston Churchill-- * He was a wise man who invented beer.
--Plato-- * Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--Catherine Zandonella-- * Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill--
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
--His reply-- * If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
--David Daye-- * Work is the curse of the drinking class.
--Oscar Wilde-- * When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman-- * Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin-- * If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thought, Jack Handy-- * Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry-- * When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.
--Dave Barry-- * Beer is Good.
--El Stumpo-- * The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
--Humphrey Bogart-- * People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
--Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI-- * Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
--Kaiser Wilhelm-- * I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
--Homer Simpson-- * Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
--Dave Barry-- * They who drink beer will think beer.
--Washington Irving-- * You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
--Dean Martin-- * All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
--Homer Simpson-- * My good friends drink is the curse of the world. All the crime, all the wars, all the heartaches of this world can be laid at the door of intoxication. Oh my friends what can cause more misery than beer, and alcohol? Can Anyone answer me that?
--Unknown Temperence Speaker., 1914 -- * The worst German enemies we have, who are the greatest menace to the peace and happiness of our people, are Pabst, Schlitz, Miller, Blatz, and others of their kind. Their German beer is a far greater enemy to our welfare then German guns or German submarines.
--Former Wisconsin Lt. Governor John Strange., 1918-- * Beer by Christmas would be the most welcome news the American people could have since the depression began.
--William Randolph Hearst., Nov 10, 1932-- * I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
--Tom Waits-- * Put it back in the horse!
--H. Allen Smith, an American humorist in the '30s-'50s, after he drank his first American beer at a bar.-- * Schaum ist kein bier - froth is not beer.
--16th Century German Proverb-- * This beer is good for you. This is draft beer. Stick with the beer. Let's go and beat this guy up and come back and drink some more beer.
-Earnest Hemingway, To Have and Have Not -- * There are those descended from an unawakened race of men who did not receive and do not revere the yeast. These sometimes attempt to brew-rather, merely manipulate ingredients-and swill the festered residues. But not to them is revealed the simplicity of art, either of beer or of poetry. Not for them is the beatitude of the true Malt; such people are cultural dropouts.
--John F Adams-- * Social reformer Lady Astor ended a lengthy temperance speech:
"I would rather commit adultery than drink a glass of beer."
A voice from the crowd bellowed back:
"Who wouldn't?" * Thou reprobate mortal! What, dost thou not know
Whither, after your death, all drunkards may go?
Must go when we're dead? Why, sir, you may swear.
We shall go, one and all, where we find the best beer.
--Verse by a Minister, 1880-- * Mankind: The animal that fears the future and desires fermented beverages.
--Brillat Savarin -- * Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
--Henry Lawson-- * Payday came and with it beer.
--Kipling-- * The man who called it "near beer" was a bad judge of distance.
--Philander Johnson/Luke McLuke, Cincinnati Enquirer -- * Good beer is the basis of true temperance.
--The Daily Express, 1919-- * But the greatest love-the love of all loves,
Even greater than that of a mother...
Is the tender, passionate, undying love,
Of one beer drunken slob for another.
--Irish Love Ballad-- * Poor John Scott lies buried here;
Although he was both hale and stout
Death stretched his on the bitter bier;
In another world he hops about.
--From the tomb of a Liverpool brewer -- * Brehm asserts that the natives of north-eastern Africa catch the wild baboons by exposing vessels with strong beer, by which they are made drunk... On the following morning the baboons were very cross and dismal; they held their aching heads with both hands, and wore a most pitiable expression; when beer...was offered to them, they turned away with disgust...
--Charles Darwin, Origin of the Species-- * There is food in beer, but there is no beer in food. Beer is like liquid bread-it provides the same necessary nutrients. I say, just lay off the food.
--Jim Koch-- * For it (beer) possesses the essential quality of gulpability. Beer is more gulpable than any other beverage and consequently it ministers to the desire to drink deeply. When one is really thirsty the nibbling, quibbling, sniffing, and squinting technique of the wine connoisseur becomes merely idiotic. Then is the moment of the pint tankard of bitter.
--Anonymous, 1934-- * Beefsteaks and porter are good belly mortar.
--Scottish Proverb-- * The selling of bad beer is a crime against Christian love.
--Law, City of Augsburg, 13th century-- * Good beer makes its own friends.
--Charles Jerome Koch-- * He who drinks beer sleeps well. He who sleeps well cannot sin. He who does not sin will go to heaven.
--18th century inscription on a German beer stein-- * While beer brings gladness, don't forget that water only makes you wet.
--Harry Leon Wilson-- * Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer.
--Frederick the Great-- * The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer.
--Ancient Egyptian Wisdom, 2200B.C.-- * Yes, it's grain...which any fool can eat; but, for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption. Let us give praise to our maker and glory to his bounty, by learning about beer.
--Friar Tuck, Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves-- * I have received delegations of working men who, apparently speaking with the utmost sincerity, have declared that they would regard it as a genuine hardship to be deprived of their beer.
--Woodrow Wilson-- * Keep your libraries, keep your penal institutions, keep your insane asylums...give me beer. You think man needs rule, he needs beer. The world does not need morals, it needs beer. It does not need your lectures and charity. The souls of men have been fed with indigestibles, but the soul could make use of beer.
--Henry Miller, Make Beer For Man-- * Listening to someone who brews his own beer is like listening to a religious fanatic talk about the day he saw the light.
--Ross Murray, Montreal Gazette -- * As he brews so shall he drink.
--Ben Johnson-- * Tests indicate that slugs do not drown willingly in beer but succumb to the effects of the alcohol first... Slugs prefer dark beers to pale beers. Lagers were conclusively rejected... Hops also increased attraction.
--Keith Thomas, Why Slugs Drink Like A Fish -- * Beer was not made to be moralized about, but to be drunk.
--Theodore Maynard-- * Why, we'll smoke and drink our beer.
For I like a drop of good beer, I does.
I'ze fond of good beer, I is.
Let gentlemen fine
Sit down to their wine
But we'll all of us stick to our beer.
--Old Somersetshire English Song-- * Beer isn't just beer... Beer needs a home.
--Die Welt-- * Back and side go bare, go bare,
Both foot and hand go cold;
But, belly, God send thee good ale enough,
Whither it be new or old.
--William Stevenson, Gammer Gurton's Needle -- * And many a skeleton shook his head.
"Instead of preaching forty year!"
My neighbor Parson Thirdly said,
"I wish I'd stuck to pipes and beer."
--Thomas Hardy, Channel Firing-- * They who have drunk beer...fall on their back...but there is a peculiarity in the effects of the drink made from barley...for they that get drunk on other intoxicating liquors fall on all parts of their body, they fall on the left side, on the right side, on their faces, and on their backs. But it is only those who get drunk on beer that fall on their backs with their faces upward.
--Aristotle-- * For we could not now take time for further search (to land our ship) our victuals being much spent, especially our Beere.
--Log of the Mayflower, December 16,1620-- * Here John Randall lies
Who counting of his tale
Lived threescore years and ten,
Such virtue was in his ale.
Ale was his meat,
Ale was his drink;
Ale did his heart revive
And if he could have drunk his ale
He'd still have been alive.
--Tombstone, Great Walford,England 1699-- * Lo! the poor toper whose untutor'd sense,
Sees Bliss in ale, and can with wine dispense;
Whose head proud fancy never taught to steer,
Beyond the muddied ecstasies of beer.
--George Crabbe, Inebriety-- * Here he sleeps in peace at a Hampshire Grenadier,
Who caught his death by drinking small cold beer;
Soldiers take heed from his untimely fall,
And when you're hot drink strong or not at all.
--Winchester Churchyard, 1764-- * There are few things in this life so revolting as sipped beer. But let it go down your throat "as suds go down the drain", and you will quickly realize that this is a true friend, to be admitted to your most secret counsels. Long draughts with an open throat are the secret.
--Maurice Healy-- * Of doctors and medicines we have more than enough. What you may, for the love of God, send is some large quantity of beer.
--Dispatch from the colony of New South Wales, Australia. 1854-- * I wish we could all have good luck, all the time!
I wish we had wings! I wish rain water was beer!
--Robert Bolt, A Man For All Seasons -- * Malt does more than Milton can
To justify God's ways to man.
--A.E. Housman, A Shropshire Lad-- * Here's to beer, so amber and pure-
Not as sweet as a woman's lips,
But a damn sight more sincere.
--Old Irish Toast-- * The Four Drinks-
The drink of thirst,
The drink without thirst,
The drink for fear of thirst,
And the drink at the door.
--Traditional Irish Proverb-- * If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
--Dean Martin-- * Upon my faith beer is a heavenly gift.
--Karel Sabina, The Bartered Bride-- * I've always believed that paradise will have my favorite beer on tap.
--Rudyard Wheatley-- * Beer is not a good cocktail party drink, especially in a home where you don't know where the bathroom is.
--Billy Carter-- * Ale is meat, drink and cloth; it will make a cat speak and a wise man dumb.
--Jonathan Swift-- * Do not cease to drink beer, to eat, to intoxicate thyself, to make love and celebrate the good days.
--Instructions of an ancient Egyptian god-- * In wine there is wisdom. In beer is strength. In water is bacteria.
--German saying-- * Ninkaasi, you are the one who pours out the filtered beer, like the onrush of the Tigris and Euphrates.
--Sumerian prayer to Ninkaasi, the goddess of beer-- * Cerevisiam Bibat!
(Drink beer for health)
--St. Hildegard von Bingen, 1150 A. D.-- * In Heaven there is no beer, so we drink it here.
--Inscription on the wall of a Trappist monastery brew house in South Netherlands-- * I have money and I have thirst. Now I'm going to find out which will last the longest.
--Edward Tash-- * He that drinks strong beer,
And goes to bed mellow.
Lives as he ought to live
And dies a hearty fellow.
--Come, Landlord, Fill a Flowing Bowl: 17th century English drinking song-- * It takes beer to make thirst worthwhile.
--German proverb -- * Wherever beer is brewed, all is well-wherever beer is drunk, life is good.
--Czech proverb -- * Cerevisia malorum...divina medicina.
(A little bit of beer is divine medicine.)
--Paracelsus, 16th century physician -- * The brewery is the best drugstore.
--Old German folk wisdom -- * The first recorded mention of the word "ale" occurred around 950 A.D. in the Old Norse Alvisimal: "Ale it is called among men, and among gods, beer."
* Brewing is the art of feeding sugar to yeast.
--Jeff Frane, Zymurgy :Spring 1994 -- * I drink for the thirst to come.
---Rabelais -- * My people must drink beer. His majesty was brought up on beer and so were his ancestors and his officers and soldiers. Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer, and the King does not believe that coffee-drinking soldiers can be depended on to endure hardships or to beat the enemies.
--Frederick the Great, King of Prussia: September 13, 1777-- * Research has shown that good yeast growth depends on certain fats in the wort. These can be produced by yeast if well aerated but one alternative was to sling in the occasional vermin.
--Keith Thomas, What's Brewing, November 1993-- * Drink is the feast of reason and the flow of soul.
--Dr. Alexander Pope, The First Satire of the Second Book of Horace-- * Here's to long life and a merry one,
A quick death and an easy one,
A pretty girl and a true one,
A cold beer - and another one.
--Lewis C. Henry, Toasts for All Occaisions -- * Dusty are our books,
The stein makes us more clever;
Beer gives us joy
Books frustration ever.
--Goethe-- * And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labor; it is the gift of God.
---Ecclesiastes 3:13 -- * Filled with mingled cream and amber
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious visions clamber
Through the chamber of my brain-
Quaintest thoughts - queerest fancies
Come to life and fade away:
Who cares how time advances?
I am drinking ale today.
--Edgar Allan Poe-- * Beer is no longer the special reserve of the bowling league or the dart league. Neither is it the province of bourgeois country music lovers, of divan-impaled aficionados of the goal-line stand. It's true. Beer has lost its elitist status; it's proletarianized. Beer has descended to the symphony.
--Lynne O'Connor, on the Austin, Texas Symphony's First Annual Beer Tasting and Benefit-- * In my opinion, most of the great men of the past were only there for the beer.
--A. J. P. Taylor, British historian-- * Once during the Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
--W. C. Fields-- * A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
--W.C. Fields-- * Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promot es health.
--Thomas Jefferson-- * Beer is the only virtual reality I need.
--Leroy Lockhorn-- * Drinking beer transcends the sensory level; it educates, creates friends, and enlarges humanity's grasp of its own commonalities.
--Los Testigos de Cerveza -- * Beer and Porter are the natural beverage of the Englishman. The increase of gin drinking and that of suicides, murders, and all kinds of violence are contemporaneous.
--The London Times, 1829-- * Mike Hammer drinks beer because I can't spell cognac.
-Mickey Spillane-- * Nothing matters
But flopping on a mattress
With cheap dreams and a beer
--Charles Bukowski -- * An ihm ist Hopfen und Malz verloren.
Translated literally: "Hops and malt are lost on him."
--German phrase for "he is hopeless" or "he is a hopeless case"-- * There is an ancient Celtic axiom that says 'Good people drink good beer.' Which is true, then as now. Just look around you in any public barroom and you will quickly see: Bad people drink bad beer. Think about it.
--Hunter S. Thompson -- * I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day.
--Dean Martin -- * Nothing ever tasted better than a cold beer on a beautiful afternoon with nothing to look forward to than more of the same.
--Hugh Hood-- * It is well known that a horse will eagerly drink up a pint of red wine, and that dogs love beer.
--E. B. Foote, M.D., 1902-- * Two of the more dubious achievements of American culture are white bread and light beer.
--Bruce Aidells and Denis Kelly, Real Beer and Good Eats -- * It was as natural as eating and to me as necessary, and I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking....beer.
--Ernest Hemingway-- * I recommend....bread, meat, vegetables and beer.
--Sophocles, (on a moderate diet)-- * It's a fair wind that blew man to the ale.
--Washington Irving-- * Life isn't all beer and skittles; but beer and skittles, or something of the sort, must form a good part of every Englishman's education.
--Thomas Hughes, Tom Brown's Schooldays-- * "Beer!" my father would bawl whenever some elder dared to chide his tippling. "Beer is my food!" To maintain his strength he seldom drank less than four quarts a day.
--Robert Roberts, The Classic Slum-- * Of beer, an enthusiast said that it could never be bad, but that some brands might be better than others.
---A. A. Milne-- * I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety.
--Shakespeare, King Henry V-- * A quart of ale is a dish for a king.
--William Shakespeare, Winter's Tale-- * Cover a war in a place where you can't drink beer or talk to a woman? Hell no!
--Hunter S. Thompson (on the US war against Iraq)-- * I took a drink of water recently, and I want to tell you something. Water is OK to bathe in or shave in, but as a beverage it's a 100 percent failure.
--Hamper MacBee-- * In Belgium, the magistrate has the dignity of a prince, but by Bacchus, it is true that the brewer is king.
--Emile Verhaeren , Flemish writer (1855-1916)-- * Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire.
--David Rains Wallace-- * We brewers don't make beer, we just get all the ingredients together and the beer makes itself.
--Fritz Maytag-- * Blessings of your heart, you brew good ale.
--Shakespeare (Two Gentlemen of Verona)-- * On the divine noble gift, the philosophical, highly dear and wondrous art, to brew beer.
--title of book by Erfurt in five volumes 1583-- * Extensive interviews show that not one alcoholic has ever actually seen a pink elephant.
--Center of Alcohol Studies, Yale University-- * Beer is the fountain of happiness,
Let us not question it's power
But blindly frolic in it's foamy ways.
--Arshan Aga-- * Up to the age of forty, eating is beneficial; after forty, drinking.
--From the Talmud-- * My problem with most athletic challenges is training. I'm lazy and find that wor kouts cut into my drinking time.
--A Wolverine-- *